I sit in my garden and listen. I smell, hear, see and feel. Chartreuse leaves, egg yolk yellow daffodils, crimson red tulips, fuchsia hyacinths, all around me. An orchestra of birds chirping away, an emergent sensation of growth, unravellings and new beginnings. It is easter Monday, in Austria (a catholic country by tradition), the last day of a five-day intensive on the topic of intimacy.
Words that I hear from participants and feel: grateful, blessed, sacred and church. Something big, universal, touching, connection, community, love. Embodied easter ritual. A place for the BodyMind to unfold. Honoring the deep waters within myself. Swimming in primordial information. Playfully exploring boundaries, articulating needs. Saying no, saying yes and saying I want. A new level of honesty within myself, powerful and tender, taking time, rooted within myself. Appreciation toward self and others, toward life and and the choices that I make. Selfcare. Warmth. Inclusion.
I hear and feel these words throughout the five days, as I guide the process of the intensive and I move through these feelings myself. I am a part of the group experience, a part of the web, my own needs are being met. I feel blessed to be able to do this work. I feel blessed to experience working with dancers, people, participants that are self reflected, mature and hungry for connection and exploration. I feel blessed to be able to open up a safe(r) space where we can meet and dance and listen.
I sit in my garden and am reminded of the words by Andrea Olsen (Body and Earth): "Sensuality is a process not a thing, an experience, not a commodity. What we need is to bring the expectation of adventure, joy, and pleasure to perception to the moment at hand. As we realize that we are sensual beings, living as part of a world that delights the senses, we can distance ourselves from the cultural baggage of dissatisfaction. We need less, not more, to experience a full life."
I would add: we need more healthy touch qualities, more spaces for authentic intimacy and more time for the expression of our true nature. Maybe that's what she meant anyway. Feeling met with our intimate needs creates an immediate sense of relieve. This is entirely void of sexual interaction, although sexual energies are not excluded, if you know what I mean.
Spending five days with a group of people, created for me a sense of community and safety where I as a teacher could feel playful, experimental, silly and generous with new explorations. I feel that the invitation for intimacy included me immediately as well, so I was feeling held and contained as well as the participants. Closeness creates closeness. The practice of articulating boundaries helped to establish a sense of safety and honesty. The practice of moving with eyes closed invited a sense of freedom to connect to deep feelings and find expression. The practice of sharing weight created groundedness, giving space to physicalized interaction with consent, provocation, risk and wildness.
I invite myself to take this sensibility of interconnectedness with me into my daily routines. "Sensuality is a process not a thing..." ...can I be sensual with my laundry? my gardening, my cooking, my bookkeeping, my advertisement?? I giggle, sitting here in my garden, thinking about dancing to the orchestra of birds, will they know that I am dancing for them?
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